Music: Same Dixie Chicks Tune.
Thing: Blogs/LJs
Color: Dark Grey. My eyes are that color right now, happens sometimes when I'm annoyed.

Happiness left. Already.
Ok. Read this post now for it will probably go away once I am in a better mood. Yeah, just deleted half of it (7/2/03)

I don't know who she is but I dislike her intensely.
If I get my heart broken I'll be VERY upset.

I should not care as much as I do care. It hits me at times like this how much I need that person to person analyzation. That looking into the eyes, seeing the stance of the body to know for sure what they think. That is the part of my "paganess" in a way. The need for contact to observe the energy. To be able to sense the mood.

I have had a song stuck in my head for that past few days. "If I Fall" (you're going down with me) by the Dixie Chicks. Who a) totally rock and b) I compeletely support. It was free speech. I agree (ok so I'm not from Texas). Voltaire said "I dissagree with what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."

Keep that in mind America.


Anyway, the Chicks have nothing to do really with my post. Not that I really know what I'm going to say other than it will start with 4 Privet Drive.

I was one of thousands last night in the thrall of a young boy named Harry Potter. Not even him really just the world he lives in. I went to Tatnuck Bookseller and had dinner with Mali, read for a while (The Everything Creative Wedding Book!) and waited in a very short (45 minute, 15 after midnight) line for my copy of Harry Potter's latest adventure.

WARNING! WARNING! I AM GOING TO GIVE AWAY THE BIG SECRET!
































Sirius Black is the one who dies. I don't know how yet but he does.


Well, that's a relief. I wasn't really all that attached to him. Although he seemed to be the one bright spot in Harry's existence in the Muggle world. He could count on Sirius (pronounced Serious? or Si-rus?).























































REST OF BLOG NOT REVEALING BIG SECRET:


So I am toying, merely toying mind you with the idea of being a Wedding Planner. I would love that job. Just LOVE it. Mayhap. We shall see. And Jess has agreed to help with "the master plan". Yay! And Mali might be less of a hopeless case than I thought!




::blows kisses::
Happiness Is Here, for how long I cannot say.

TJ made me take it:

Well-endowed both in mind and in body, you don't hesitate to use both to your advantage! Your confidence and sense of humour make you a pleasure to be around. You're crafty, clever and cute - a formula that would bring any man to his knees! But while your wit and charisma are definite assets, others may not be able to keep up with your resourceful intelligence. Take care not to overwhelm people with your treasures.
Which Love Hina Girl Are You?

DEAR GODS WHY!!!!

Style


Which of Cher's Perfect Traits are you?
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That's right ladies, go me.... I think. Damnit I make a good boy!

You're the ideal BF! You honestly love your
girlfriend and respect her, and treat her the
way she deserves to be treated. Forget one-
night stands! This is amore baby! If u ever
happen to find urself singel...give me a ring!


What Type of Boyfriend Are You?
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You are... "Prayin' For Daylight"! Track
one, on the album "Rascal Flatts".


Which Rascal Flatts Song Are You?
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So of course I had to find the lyrics!

I don't want to spend another lonely night
ooooooo

I've got the lights turned up
The door is locked, the bedroom TV's on
Doing the only thing that gets me through the night
Since you've been gone

[Chorus:]
Prayin' for daylight waiting for that morning sun
So I can act like my whole life ain't going wrong
Baby come back to me, I swear I'll make it right
Don't make me spend another lonely night
Prayin' for daylight

I made a bad miscalculation
Betting you would never leave
'Cause if you're getting on with your new life
Then where does that leave me

[Repeat Chorus]

Prayin for daylight

Prayin for daylight
Hoping that I didn't wait too long
That this is just the dark before the dawn

Deep in my heart I know
That you love me as much as i love you
And that you must be lying somehwere
Looking up to heaven too

[Repeat Chorus Twice]

Prayin' for daylight
I don't want to spend another lonely night
I don't want to spend another lonely night
Prayin' for daylight


Yeah, well, someone once messaged me on Blubster and was like "seriously. WHAT kind of music do you listen to?"


You're nothing, really. But you're nice.


What type of music are you?
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You are very d0rky, it's guaranteed we will get on!
1.Email me george@dodgybloke.co.uk
2.Take my survey and check me out
http://www.dogybloke.co.uk

PLEASE :-D


Are YOU a d0rky girl?
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Articulation = 2 Sentiment = 10

Yes there is a big diff just because you dress goth
doesn't mean you are a pagan. Pagans are sweet
loving and enjoy the world. Goth are depressed
and sad. I am pagan i know what the fuck i am
talking about.


Do you know the Differ between Goth and Pagans
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Viviane - Viviane is the Celtic Lady of the Lake
from medieval

Britain. She is a Druid priestess and fought to
preserve

her tradition from th invading new religion of
Christianity.

She made an alliance with King Arthur, and gave him

Excalibur to seal their alliance. She was murdered
by a

maddened knight when she went to Camelot to demand

Arthur's protection for Avalon.
Display this code on your site to see picture: href="http://quizilla.com/users/onyxrose/quizzes/Who's%20your%20inner%20pagan%20goddess%3F/">src="http://publish.hometown.aol.com/perleflower/myhomepage/vivianef.jpg"
border="0" alt="Juno">

Who's your inner
pagan goddess?
size="-3">brought to you by href="http://quizilla.com">Quizilla


Who's your inner pagan goddess?
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You're the Night spirit. You cannot be held down,
and switch from odd to angry at every random
moment. You despise people, but still care alot
for your close friends and significant other.


(For girls) What (imaginary) Goddess Spirit Are You?
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Your a goddess! You go both was on good and evil
you can be one of both you are balanced in both
areas.


Are you a devil, angel or goddess?
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You are Oya, the goddess of female leadership. Your
charisma and feminity make you the
quintessential all-rounder- popular, pretty and
intelligent. You are probably a leader of
something at school and may be on the debating
team.


Reveal the Goddess in You
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You are Brighid.


What Celtic Goddess Are You?
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I'm confused.... happy. But confused.

you are MALIFICENT!! WESTSIDE u r hardcore and
itimidating. also very sexy not one 2 b fucked
with u r the definition of WOMAN!!


which enchanting cartoon goddess are you?
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More Quizzes, Yes, You can learn a lot about me. But really only what I want you to know through what I post.....

Muwahahahahaha!



You are Mum-Ra from Thundercats! Your pad is a
local pyramid on your native planet called
Third-Earth. You serve the ancient spirits of
evil, who granted you immortalitly for your
eternal services. Your enemies are the wretched
Tundercats, who have no right to be on your
planet and deter your every efforts to enslave
the other natives. You have allied with 4
stupid mutants from the planet Plundar.


What 80's Villain Are You?
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Yes I am.


Raindbow Paintbrush


What paintbrush are you?
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ACK! I WAS OUTBID !!!! TWICE!!!! BASTARDS!!!!!

Must go tend to EBay!

SOUNDTRACK TO YOUR LIFE

just for fun, let's do this all in Country songs

opening credits: She's Unusually Unusual - Lonestar

waking-up scene: Good Morning Beautiful - Steve Holy

best-friend scene: Somedays You Gotta Dance - Dixie Chicks

night-out-with-friends scene: Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo - Tracy Byrd or Beer Run - Garth Brooks

first-date scene: Yes! - Chad Brock

falling-in-love scene: If I Fall (You're Going Down With Me) - Dixie Chicks

love scene: Rock You Baby - Toby Keith or Love Of A Woman - Travis Tritt

fight-with-friend scene: I Wanna Talk About Me - Toby Keith

break up scene: All Things Considered - Yankee Gray

get-back-together scene: Til Nothing Comes Between Us Anymore- John Micheal Montgomery

fights-at-home scene: I Just Want To Be Mad For Awhile - Terri Clark

'life's okay' scene: Great Day To Be Alive- Travis Tritt

heartbreak scene: Where Would You Be - Martina McBride or Forgive - Rebecca Lyn-Howard

mental-breakdown scene: Stay Gone - Mark Chestnut

driving scene: CHROME! - Tracy Byrd

lesson-learning scene: What The World Needs Now - Wynonna

deep-thought scene: If Tomorrow Never Comes - Garth Brooks

flashback scene: Life Happened - Kellie Coffey

party scene: (I might be a real bad boy, but baby I'm a ) Real Good Man - Tim McGraw

regret scene: When The Lights Go Down - Faith Hill

happy-dance scene: Three Wooden Crosses - Randy Travis (joke!)

long-night-alone scene: Cowboy In Me - Tim McGraw

closing credits: Live, Laugh, Love - Clay Walker

second closing credits: Who I Am - Jessica Andrews

Arg! What is wrong with this machine!

Music: How to Succeed In Business Without Really Trying - New Rochelle (Where Carson Daly's little league team is from)
Thing: Carson Daly (watching him right now that's the only reason)
Color: Blue

So I was thinking to myself tonight... "Self" I was thinking "self, what do you want from him?" "Well Self I want.. no, well, maybe, no, Damn self, you bring up such good points, what do I want?"

Finally I came to the conclusion that dating was the answer. I watched Andy F (or Virgin Andy #2) have this struggle. Why I could so readily determine the problem there and not in my own life is beyond me. Andy has been in 2 long term relationships since I've known him... since Sophmore year of high school when 10 months into our relationship (when I'd accepted that he'd was a permanant fixure on my right side and useful when I would drift off) he broke up with long term girlfriend number 1. Now as he was single again halfway through his freshman year and he was having trouble dating. Why? Because he was in "long term mode" and had to adjust to "have a good time and be joyous mode". Now this was definetely my own problem. Every boy who came into my life went into the "Prospects" catagory. I need to learn how to date. How to be flexible and not so attached.

Music: Where Would You Be - Martina McBride
Thing: Over-Analazation and eBay
Color: Red, of course!


Do you ever wonder what would happen if you stopped IMing others. You know, just waited for them to talk to you. Would they? Or would you just sort of dissapear on their radar. Forgottten, or Finally, that annoying person stopped! I think about this a lot. Because I'm paranoid and need to be in control and know everything.

So what would happen if I just sat here, while writing this post and waited? There are 13 people I know and talk to online. Would any of them IM me? Would he talk to me as often if I just sat there, waiting? I don't know. And that scares me. What scares me even more is what if I didn't IM anyone and no one noticed? What if I lost those people as friends because I didn't reach out. That fear keeps me going, it keeps me worrying but still I talk first, I comment on my day, I say "Hey! How's Life?" Because what if I did lose them?

John, the awesome boy who found this site originally told me a story once. How he had a best friend, and he and that best friend used to talk to each other on the phone a lot. Then John noticed he was always the one calling his friend. So he decided not to, just to see what would happen. A day passed. A week passed. His best friend never called. They still haven't talked for many years. I am afraid of that. Very afraid. So I keep on, and I worry. Probably a needless worry, but can you be sure?




So far: 1 IM from Andy. Thank the gods.

Music: Tonight I'm Looking For A Party Crowd - Joe Diffy
Thing: Hobbies
Color: RED

So Za and Jess graduated today. I had to work but was with them in spirit... kinda. I don't miss high school. I watched one of the people I went to WRHS last night when she came into the store. A year of college in Boston humbled her. She was a bitch in high school, she was a big fish in a little pond. I think she learned whether conciously or not that she is not as important as she thought. I'm glad. I also those who went to other schools, that were small and had a large concentration of WRHS grads. They have not changed. Those who were pompous still are. They are never let out into the "real world". Ah well. What can you do?

I also picked up two new stained glass design books. Mali and I really need start that again. I need my stuff too. The supplies I was supposed to recieve for christmas. Yeah, damn woman. There are some designs I would love to work on, like the fairy with solder splattered wings. That was the most fun, figuring out what the splatter shapes looked like.

I'm also hunting for jewelry. A snake ring or a fleur de lys ring. Not sure which yet. I know I love my snake bracelet but I would really like a snake ring that twines about my finger. Maybe with garnet eyes. A fleur just because I'm french.

And I think I may have started an Ebay addiction....... oh joy.