Music: Cry - Faith Hill
Thing: Heartbreak
Color: Ice Blue

Gene Kelly: "Is that what I am being? Sentimental because I'm tired?"


Later, I will claim this is because of the hour. Right now, I just want to clear my head.

It feels like part of me is wilting, shriveling up and dying. That part that needs to be loved, needs it so desperately. I need to be held, touched, just be comforted. Heartbreak I find, doesn't agree with me. Not in the least. I lost control of my heart, I should have guarded it better. I never let myself be out of control. You can't be hurt that way.

I have two options now. I know one of them isn't really an option. I could lock up my heart forever, become an Ice Princess of the finest quality and never let myself care or love ever again. That goes against my nature, I am warm, affectionate, and a Barbarian Love Goddess not an Ice Princess. Part of my pagan beliefs is the embracing of the emotions and affection towards all. But I need my control. Emotions without control are what I despise in teenage girls, the ups and the downs so rapid, and more importantly vapid. The control is what keeps me from descending into that abyss that is depression. I can keep myself from the extremes the chemicals want me to go to. I will. I must. But I'm not whole.

Dear gods, please, I just want to be whole.

Adieu ::blows kiss to those who love::

::TJ, Aaron, and Panda catch, hold me close and keep me sane::

You see Jessie? I am not all that wise after all.

Music: Blue Danube Waltz
Thing Of The Day: Snowflake
Color: Dark Blue
Here she is:

Snowflake

Panda: You should get something you'll regret later on in life like a giant skull or something.
Yeah, because that's so practical, just like me.....

Music: A Secretary Is Not A Toy- How To Succeed In Business Without Really Trying
Thing Of The Day: The Amazing Copy Machine
Color: Blue-ish Purple (like the circles under my eyes)

Well, I'm in work study today. I'm starving. I haven't eaten yet today, which is sadly becoming a trend. I only eat at dinner, not because I'm some sort of anerexic, but because I dont' have time. I really should have grabbed a cereal bar before I left. That was wicked stupid of me.

In other news: I've decided I'm finally getting a tattoo. Yeah, after a couple years of talking and thinking about it I'm finally getting my snowflake. The small of my back seems the best place to put it too. I'll put the link to the picture in when I'm back at the dorm. After my nap. After I eat. Yeah, it's looking like tomorrow. I'm going to go try to find it now.

Adieu ::blows kiss::

Music: George of the Jungle Theme (watch out for that tree!)
Thing of the Day: That funny stoned like state you achieve late late at night
Person of the day: TJ, he stayed up with me!!!!!!!
Color: Burgundy, my favorite color

Ok, I know. Don't tell me. Please don't. I should take notes in class and not map out stories. I do it anyway. Today is nonchalant by the way, because of my lack of caring.

What did I map out do you ask? The Ladies of Babylon of course. I had the concept a couple days ago, in philosophy again, but have figured out how the story fits together. I'm thinking of posting it as I write it here. Might actually spur me on to write if people bug the hell out of me. Mali's Tale was never finished (because it just got creepy!!!!) A Simple Love Story was too painful after a while (never write about real life especially if you don't know where it's going. CHECK learned that one) Anyway, make me use what the muse gave me.

::blows kiss:: Adieu

Coming Soon!
THE LADIES OF BABYLON

Be amazed. I command thee.

Music: Andrea Bocelli - Vivere
Thing of the Day: THE RA APPLICATION!
Color: Purple-Blue Shaggadelic (the official color of Amazing Andy's dorm room)

I have no idea why that's the color of the day it kinda just came to me. Vivere is a passionate yet kinda relaxing song, so it fits today. Yeah, I still have work to do on the application that is due at 5pm. 5pm, it comes so quickly. What's been happening? Well really, quite a bit.

This weekend in short bursts:
Parents yell. Rich, Sue, Ed yell. Move boxes. Move 5,000 styrofoam cups. Move more random stuff. Burn. Fire. Burn boxes burn. Work. Donna. Skippy and Dawn. INVENTORY! Robin! Yay, Robin. Lisa. Damn Karen. Stupid, slow Karen. Karen afraid of cutting. Make Karen cut. All laugh. No laughing when close with Karen. Floor washer men. Oedipus-like urge closing with Karen. Grant? Eh, forgotten. RA application. Essays of Doom. Damn you rain! Grumble rain. WORK STUDY! Blast from past. Shut door on blast. Contemplation. Muse attack. Laundry? Stupidity. Parental Stupidity. Love Dice. Wimpy Love Dice. Damn CVS. YONG SHING II ROCKS THE HOUSE!!!! Wonton Soup. Pork Fried Rice. Roommate hug! Morgan-Greer Tarot at last! Out with doom deck. Black. Brown. Grey perfection.

No time for more
Adieu

::blows kiss::


(TJ catches, lol)

Music: Andrea Bocelli - Vivere
Thing of the Day: THE RA APPLICATION!
Color: Purple-Blue Shaggadelic (the official color of Amazing Andy's dorm room)

I have no idea why that's the color of the day it kinda just came to me. Vivere is a passionate yet kinda relaxing song, so it fits today. Yeah, I still have work to do on the application that is due at 5pm. 5pm, it comes so quickly. What's been happening? Well really, quite a bit.

This weekend in short bursts:
Parents yell. Rich, Sue, Ed yell. Move boxes. Move 5,000 styrofoam cups. Move more random stuff. Burn. Fire. Burn boxes burn. Work. Donna. Skippy and Dawn. INVENTORY! Robin! Yay, Robin. Lisa. Damn Karen. Stupid, slow Karen. Karen afraid of cutting. Make Karen cut. All laugh. No laughing when close with Karen. Floor washer men. Oedipus-like urge closing with Karen. Grant? Eh, forgotten. RA application. Essays of Doom. Damn you rain! Grumble rain.